roses, cars, and colors

So, last weekend my friend Rose came to visit me. It was pretty awesome. I got to see a friend who I don't get to see often enough, and she got to see where my world has been for the last three-and-a-half years.

And what was the most interesting thing we did when she was here? We watched Cars. And dyed our hair. Rose, Katie, and I. Neither Katie nor I had ever dyed our hair before. She went for a natural black: I went for a reddish-brown. Rose went a darker brown, and got a haircut to boot.

As you can see, my hair isn't so much reddish-brown as it is ORANGE.

So, I washed it vigorously the next morning and it faded some. Now it's what I like to call a "violent strawberry blonde." In dim lighting, you can't really tell it's been dyed.

So I'm a temporary redhead. My blonde should be back in a month or so.

glow sticks and the french language

A few random thoughts (four to be exact):

1.
I haven't written here for about a month, unless you count the post on Halloween that I wrote 15 minutes ago but dated as being written 4 days ago just because I wanted to make it a separate post. (I know, nerdy of me.) A lot has happened: papers, pumpkin smashing, mid-terms, studying, visiting friends, the Car Rally. Now that the second half of the semester is starting, I feel like I have a little bit of breathing room, but not too much. I really need to work on minimizing distractions, and getting my rocks into the jar before I start adding gravel and sand.

2.
It's been cold recently. It even snowed a few days ago. This brings me great joy. Although it's been a bit warmer in the last couple of days, I'm hoping that this early freeze means we're in for a cold, snowy, and fun winter. I took these pictures a couple weeks ago while I was on on one of my morning runs in the frost.

Note that this picture is entirely and completely posed. I normally don't have such a victorious grin on my face as I'm running, nor do I look at the sky. I find that it's more useful to keep an eye on the ground ahead of me. It prevents painful and unnecessary things from occurring (falling on my face, for example).

3.
In church this morning, Pastor Bill made a distinction between knowing information about God and knowing God personally. It was a passing comment; it wasn't the main point of the sermon, but it made me think of French. In French, there are two different words for the verb "to know," as opposed to English's one. Savoir (pronounced saav-woir) means to know about, to know intellectually: You'd say "I sais that Courtney is that short girl with blonde hair in my Hist o' Christ class. She is a Theology major, and she lives in a Theme House." But connaitre means to know personally. You'd say, "I connais Courtney: I sit by her in Hist o' Christ and we laugh together at the professor's jokes. We like to go ice skating together, and talk about life." I think that the distinction is an important one, and I'm sad that it's been lost in English. We shouldn't just know about (savoir) God... we need to know (connaitre) God.

4.
These last few days I've had several different "moments" when I'm convicted, either by something I'm reading or thinking about or hearing. But it's not a complete conviction: I'm almost-convicted. It's hard to describe. I feel like if I could just force the concepts that I'm mulling over into my head and heart, it would have a big effect on the way I live and operate, whether it be physically, emotionally, or spiritually. But it's like that conviction is just beyond my grasp. Today the perfect illustration came to me. In the middle of the sermon, I suddenly thought, I feel like a glow stick. I've got all these truths bumming around inside of my head, and all I need is a SNAP! and they'll break through their little intellectual barrier and combine with my life, causing me to glow.


So I'll end with this picture that I took while I was home for Fall Break. Calm; peaceful; beautiful; glowing. All I need is to be bent until I snap. If that makes any sense at all.

afterthoughts on halloween

This was the first Halloween in my Whitworth career that has taken place on a class-day. Every other year it has occurred over Fall Break. So it was kind of fun to have the opportunity to dress up and wear weird things to class. The students who dressed up were definitely in the minority, but it was fun nevertheless. Here are a few pictures for your enjoyment:

This one is of my friend Mary and I, before we went to a costume party at the Piano Theme House on the 30th. I was a farm girl; she was a 70s girl with a fro. We made a cute couple.

This next one is of my friend Michelle and I. We have both of our Tues/Thurs classes together in the same room (Christian Anthropology and World Religions), so we both wore costumes. I'm in one of my mom's old dresses from the 70s with a viking hat on my head, and Michelle is wearing this awesome orange dress that I found once at Value Village. I definitely wore that viking outfit all day. It was glorious.

Later that evening, we had a friend over to our house to make some pies and watch Hocus Pocus. I can't remember what exactly brought it about, but Katie and I ended up augmenting our costumes by using pillows to make us look pregnant and dancing in the kitchen while we cooked (I know, I know... just don't ask.) I think this picture is pretty funny. Pregnant women in the kitchen making pies: the epitome of the housewife stereotype.

So, in summary: as much as I dislike the connotations that surround Halloween, I've gotta admit that it provides a fun excuse to dress up, goof around, and eat candy.

still waters

Last weekend was full and good. I went to the Spokane Symphony with Jessie at the opera house downtown on Friday night, which was beautiful. Saturday morning, I went to Green Bluff with Chelsea. Green Bluff is a farming community just north of campus, and they are hosting the Apple Festival right now... some farms just have U-Pick fruit, and some have shops, live bands, food, and booths. Chels and I went from farm to farm, with the goal of finding this caramel applesauce that I had had three years ago. We finally found out which farm it was at (Hansen's!) and ended our morning by sitting at a table under a weeping willow and eating warm applesauce with twangy Christmas music playing in the background. It was simple and good. Saturday afternoon, I headed downtown with Jessie and a bunch of her friends from camp and played laser tag. We got owned by a bunch of 8-year-old boys with code names like "phantom" and "what now", but it was really fun.

Sunday morning, Mary and I made breakfast for some Whitworth Choir folks, and then we sang at Whitworth Presbyterian Church. It was wonderful... it seems like no matter what is going on in my life, I can't help but be joyful after we sing. It was my first performance with the Whitworth Choir, but it felt like home. We hung out as a choir afterwards for about an hour (still dressed up in our formalwear) and had our picture taken professionally, and just had a good time doing it. It was, as Mary said today, an honest performance, and I feel like it has set the stage for my week so far.

After I got home on Sunday, I was still running on high from singing. It was a melancholy high, if that's possible... I felt like I was calm and happy, with a subtle undercurrent of joy. So I made myself some tomato soup, curled up with a blanket on the floor in the middle of our living room, and sat. I didn't pray; I didn't read my Bible; I just sat, for what seemed like about an hour, with God. It was beautiful. I finally read some... my passage in Ecclesiastes was 3:1-15, the "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven..." passage. Part of it really stuck out to me, and I kept thinking of the choir as I read it: "I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time." I copied it over onto a notecard, and that was that. I proceeded to go and clean my fishtank.

And then there was today.

Frost.

7am. I rolled out of bed, changed into my jogging clothes, and when I stepped outside there was frost. My breath came out of my mouth in little puffs of cloud. I can't really describe how I felt. I felt like my oatmeal must have felt this morning when it got so excited in the microwave that it just started glopping out over the sides of the bowl. I get the feeling sometimes in choir when we hit a chord just right: it's like a tight knot of joy, somewhere in between my diaphragm and my throat, that's just waiting to bubble over. And nothing else really matters: I'm just content to be in that very moment. So, I went for my run. The frost melted away, and the day turned into one of those crisp, sunny, red-and-golden autumn days. Beautiful.

When I got to choir, Marc had us sit in a big circle and told us that today was going to be a debrief day. He mentioned that one of his favorite passages in the Bible is in Ecclesiastes, when it says there is a time for everything (coincidence? no...) and, moving in a circle, he had everyone share where they were at in life, and then something about yesterday's performance. It was incredible. We only got through about a third of the choir, but I was blown away at how everyone was so open and honest with where they were at in life. Some people cried; some people were joyful. But really hearing from these people, beyond the passer-by dialogue of "howareya?" "fine", was really moving. I was teared up for most of the hour. And I kept thinking: God has made everything beautiful in its time.

I've been thinking about a lot of things lately - what comes after graduation; what a healthy balance is between classes, relationships, and activities; what will motivate me to practice piano about 3x as much as I'm doing now. I've been thinking about confidence, trust, and openness. I've been wondering what my place is.

Today all those issues are still at the back of my mind, but I'm at peace. And at least one of those questions has been answered. My place is here. Now. Today. Living and learning and serving with the people God has put me with, doing the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with.

Nancy Drew and Winnie-the-Pooh

I babysat for my three little cousins last night. Mary is at that stage where she is talking constantly, but you only occasionally can understand what she's trying to say. And she's so earnest while she's talking to you... it's really sweet. It reminds me of Boo in Monster's, Inc.

Anyway... after dinner, we watched Pooh's Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin. Maybe it's a sign that I've been in school for too long, or maybe it is just a sign that the Core program at Whitworth is doing its job... but the whole time we were watching it, I kept thinking things like "Mmm, this scene really illustrates the faith vs. reason debate" or "Wow. You can tell from this song that Pooh is an empiricist, but Rabbit is an authoritarian." Yeah, I know. Nerdy.

Then, later, one of the things the kids wanted me to read to them before bed was a chapter out of a Nancy Drew book. So I read them chapter one of Nancy Drew and the Bungalow Mystery. As I was reading, I came across this sentence: "Just then, Nancy saw a giant wave bearing down on them. She met it head on, hoping to ride the crest, but a deluge of water almost inundated the girls..." I had to stop reading because I was laughing. Deluge!? Inundated!? I'm sure I didn't know what 'deluge' meant until SAT prep tests, and I wasn't sure what inundated meant until now. And the kids probably think that Nancy was hoping to ride a tube of toothpaste. All I have to say is this: people just don't write like this for kids anymore, and it's a sad thing. No wonder they're struggling to bring WASL scores up.

Just so you know...
deluge- a great flood of water; inundation; flood
inundated- to cover with water, especially floodwaters
crest- the foamy top of a wave

clothespins

I bought a package of wooden clothespins at Target the other day. This was written on the package:

there's something rather magical about ironing. you take your rumpled-up life. spritz a little water on it. run an iron over it. and presto. everything's new again. the wrinkles of yesterday have vanished right before your very eyes. and there you are. looking fresh. feeling sharp. ready to take on the world.

Nevermind the bad grammar, lack of capitalization, and the fact that this little ditty would have been more appropriate on the packaging for, say, an iron than on packing for clothespins. What really snagged my attention as I was reading this was the fact that I was reading, in essence, the salvation story (with a few key changes, of course). Jesus takes our rumpled-up life, atones for it with his blood and gives us the Holy Spirit, and presto. Everything's new again. The sin of yesterday has vanished, and there we are. A clean start, feeling sharp, ready to take on the world.

I just think it's kind of ironic (no pun intended)... people are looking for salvation on clothespins, but they're not going to find it there.

it's the little things...

Blessings come in all shapes and sizes.

I've had a crazy last couple of weeks, and I haven't gotten around to getting quarters so I can do laundry. This morning as I was getting dressed, I was a little worried because I thought I had used my last clean pair of undies yesterday. But, lo and behold, as I was rooting around trying to unearth something to wear, I found clean pair hiding in my sock drawer.

Ain't life grand?

back in the "big city"

So, a month later, and I'm back at school. I had a safe drive back, thanks to the cold drinks and caffeine that were riding shotgun with me. I left a day early so I could spend some time hanging out with Amy (and visit SPU for the first time!). The parents followed me up the next day and helped me move in. Moving into a house was a new experience for me... it was kind of stressful at times, but for the most part it was fun. Here's a lovely photograph of my family in front of our house:


And here is a picture of me with my lovely roommates:


We took this one at a YWCA benefit art auction that we went to last weekend in Walla Walla. Jessie's parents and their friends go every year, and since all three of us roommates are of legal drinking age, we got invited to tag along. It was pretty fun to hang out with Jessie and her family. Walla Walla is a fun and beautiful little town.

I'm getting back into the swing of things school-wise. Since I was gone all last weekend, I'm behind in my reading - the goal is to be caught up by tomorrow evening. We'll see how that goes.

The most exciting thing about the school year so far? Choir. I finally got up the guts to audition for Whitworth Choir this year and I made it - and it has been awesome. I love singing, and I love choral music, and I love singing with guys. I had alot of fun in Women's Choir the past two years, but being in a mixed group again has reminded me of how much I love the depth and resonance that the tenor and bass voices add to the music.

There's much more to say... but for now, I must sleep. More on the house and classes will have to come later.

trailbikes = fun

So, today Dad showed me how to ride the Phantoms, and we took a little jaunt to the park, through the Dark Forest, and around South Beach. They were alot easier to handle than I expected. I can't do wheelies like Dad can, but I still had alot of fun. :) I got a little nervous coming around a few of the sharper corners, although by the end of the ride I had gotten the hang of it. Dad's comment to Mom when we got back was, "She felt the need for speed." :)



There was one small problem - and I'm actually embarassed to admit this - I can't start them. They have a pull start (like a lawnmower), but I wasn't able to start the bigger 7hp engine: Dad had to do it for me. I'll have to work on that. 

the best (last) Sunday

What does it take to make my last Sunday here this summer into one of the best days I've had? A combination of God, friends, fun, and food, that's what.

This morning at church, I had the privelege of being shown how God took care of my recent roommate situation in a way that surpassed all of my expectations. Here's the short story: we lost one of our housemates because she transferred to another school, and we needed to find another roommate or we'd have to pay for an extra room in the Spring. I immediately thought of a girl I know who was in need of housing, but I wasn't sure if I should ask her to live with us in the theme house or not. I talked to my remaining housemates and prayed about it, but never did feel sure as to what to do. Then, the other day, Jessie called me and said she'd found some other girl for our house... she had been set up with a single room in Arend (a dorm), but would rather live with us at the house. I said it sounded good, and assumed that the roommate situation was wrapped up and done with.

But God had something more up his sleeve. At church I talked to the other girl's mom and asked if her daughter had found housing. And she had: just a couple days ago she was able to get a single room in Arend, right as she was deciding whether or not to return to school. Coincidence? I think not. But wait, there's more: singles cost more than doubles, and that same day a man that she barely knows (and who knew nothing about the situation!) gave this girl a gift of money for school, in the exact amound she needed. God clearly had his hand in this one... what an incredible blessing.


This afternoon, Greg, Beth, and Nate came over to my house (G&B for the first time!) and we had a delicious meal of fruit (lots of fruit) and Mom and Dad's amazing hamburgers. They got to see the house, the motorhome, and the trailbikes. Beth took this picture when we were standing out on the road... how she managed to perfectly frame it and get her head in there I'll never know. She's amazing.


Nate rode the Honda Passport over when he came, and he and I went on a ride all around the island. It was really fun - I love going fast with the wind in my face (although Nate is ahead of the game - the goggles are really helpful). I think I may have done some damage to his intestines, though, when we passed an ATV and a scooter while going down a huge hill. I can't wait to practice riding around on the Phantoms... it's really too bad that they're not street legal, or I'd want to take one to work.


And here are Greg and Beth. I really don't have words for this picture... I've got a grin on my face looking at it.

We left on the 5 to go to youth gruop... Nate gave me a ride there (grin) and we played some foosball as we waited for G&B. Nate slaughtered me... really slaughtered me. I have a sneaking suspicion that the reason I was so incredibly bad is that I was laughing so dang hard, but I guess I'll never know.

At youth group we played some Extreme Duck-Duck-Goose (if you've never played, it's pretty darn funny) and then watched a DVD of Louie Giglio speaking on the Indescribable tour. He spoke about how God's glory is displayed in the cosmos, and emphasized how very, very, very, very small we are in the scheme of things. I remembered alot of stuff from when I took Astronomy (it's always been something I've been interested in), but it was really thought-provoking to realize, once again, how impossible it is to wrap your head around the numbers and distances involved. And that's only the known universe. God created all of that, he knows each star by name... and yet he loves us so much that he came here and let us forsake, mock, and murder him, all in order to save us from the sin-and-death mess that we'd gotten ourselves into.

Two things really struck me during the video: the first is the completeness of forgiveness. After considering the (literally) astronomical distances involved in the cosmos, it's mind-blowing to know that "as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us" (Ps. 103:11-12). When I find myself trapped in the same sins that I've been struggling with for awhile, I get discouraged and think, how can you take me seriously, Lord, and keep forgiving me when I keep screwing up!? It's just so hard for the idea of a completely blank slate to permeate my heart. But it's right there in scripture: my sins are gone, as far away as the east is from the west.

The second thing (which is closely related to and inseparable from the first thing) is the idea that God loves me. I know, I know: this is old hat, right? I've been singing "Jesus loves me" since preschool; you'd think I'd have the concept down pat by now. But I don't. Every time I quiet myself and really think about the fact that God (who created both the ridiculously enormous universe and each bacteria that grows on an ant's antenna) loves me (who sins and fails to measure up to God's standards on a daily basis), I do a huge mental double-take. And not only does he love me, but he delights in me. It's beyond my comprehension... what a beautiful God.

As usual, there's a song that has come to mind that describes what I'm thinking: "Beautiful", from Shawn McDonald's album Simply Nothing.

I guess I'll leave you with some of Psalm 18, which I've been working (slowly) on memorizing.

I love you, O Lord, my strength.
The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
my God, in whom I take refuge,
my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I call up on the Lord, who is worthy to be praised,
and I am saved from my enemies.
He sent from on high, he took me;
he drew me out of many waters.
He rescued me from my strong enemy
and from those who hated me,
for they were too mighty for me.
They confronted me in the day of my calamity,
but the Lord was my support.
He brought me out into a broad place;
he rescued me, because he delighted in me.

note to self

When you're working at the store and there's nobody else inside, be careful about lip synching and dancing to the radio - it's kind of awkward when you realize that there's some old guy out on the sidewalk window shopping.

Back from California...

After 8 days, hundreds of miles, some foggy coastal highway and our fair share of engine trouble, I am back in Anacortes. It was a fun trip... and it took place in an RV that Dad bought two days before we left.

First we beelined it down to Sacramento. Dad bought some Powell Phantom trailbikes off of eBay from some guy that has a tire shop there, so we picked the bikes up first. As we pulled up to the tiny little tire shop, we had no idea that we were about to stumble into a gold mine. The whole back two rooms of this guy's shop were filled with bikes of all shapes and sizes - most of them beautifully restored. Amogst the collection were no less than SIX other Powells, in addition to the ones we had bought - Three P81s, a P87, and a Challenger. (I'll correct this later if I'm not remembering right... the pictures from that day are on Dad's camera.) Dad was so excited... he has been looking for a P81 for a long time. To be able to see three of them, along with the other bikes, was really awesome for him. I'll have to post pictures of the bikes when I get them from Dad. After Sacramento, we went through Santa Rosa and Sebastopol (where I lived until I was 7) and then came up the coast and through the redwoods.

Unfortunately, the good ol' Chevy Van RV had a few... issues. Meaning that about halfway through the trip (as we're still in central-northern California) the engine started missing... especially at speeds above 60mph. Dad bought a new fuel filter at a Napa and installed it (which in itself was an ordeal, seeing as we had few tools with us), and that seemed to fix the problem. Until it started happening again on the way home, right outside of Portland.

The fuel filters in these vans are puny little things, so Dad just assumed that it had clogged up fast. We bought another filter (and a wrench) in Chehalis and Dad installed it (it was much easier with a wrench), and pretty soon we were back on I-5, feeling good about life. Until the engine started missing again, after about 3 minutes. At this point Dad didn't know what was wrong, and we didn't exactly have any other vehicles to drive... so we pressed on and drove the last 200 miles home as the engine started to miss at lower and lower speeds. I slept a little, but most of the time I was up in the loft above the cab, praying that Jesus would help us get back home under our own steam instead of a tow truck's. By the time we lurched back onto Fidalgo, we were maxing out at 40-55 mph and having a hard time recovering from stoplights. But we made it safe and sound, and that's what counts... and had a grand adventure along the way.

Oh, and we got to stop at In-N-Out on the way down (my first!). This is the "out" picture (we have an "in" one, too).



Now I'm dogsitting at the Stalsbrotens' house, sitting in The Chair with my laptop and a glass of ice water, waiting for my load of laundry to get done. It's really relaxing, actually, to just sit here and type with Nisa (the dog) snoring away happily in the background. It's a blessing to be able to retreat to an empty house after going for a week without any serious alone time. I even took some time to swing on the swing and look at the stars while Nisa was nosing around the backyard. What a great way to unwind after a fun week of roadtrip.

reeling

The end of July was a blur. First I went on the rock climbing trip with the high school girls, then there was a week in which I worked alot and went to Birch Bay waterpark. The next week was CreationFest NW, and after that was a week in which I finally had a little time to breathe. There was alot of input in those 3 weeks, and alot of stuff that I'm still thinking through and processing. I'll try to post a little summary-with-pictures of both the Friction trip and Creation over the next week.

For now, I'll just say that I've been thinking alot about two different things over the past week or so. The first is the importance of being honest. I don't just mean the difference between truth and lie - I'm talking about being open, actually talking to someone about what's going on in your life. How can a friend step in, pray for you, and support you as you struggle with issues when they don't know the issues are there? They can't. It's important to have allies in this life - allies that know you well enough to be able to laugh with you during the good times, encourage you thorugh the tough ones, and let you know when you're just plain being foolish.

And that brings me to my next thought: the reality of spiritual warfare (Ephesians 6: we don't fight against merely physical evil, but against spiritual forces of evil). I gotta admit, personally, I tend to ignore it or forget that it's going on. And when I do that, the battle is already half lost. I get discouraged when I find myself being lazy, struggling with sinful/unbelieving thoughts, or losing my patience with my family. I pull a Romans 7: I think to myself, I shouldn't have done/thought that. I don't want to be doing/thinking things like that. But I just keep doing it anyway! What a failure I am! But I'm more motivated to fight it when I realize that, along with my own part that I contribute to the sin, there is also something more sinister going on. Satan is there, actively trying to corrupt my relationship to the Father, and quite frankly that ticks me off. I must remember that Romans 7 is followed by Romans 8: "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death." Satan may be actively and persuasively tempting me to fall into sin, but I don't have to give in: I can fight back, because I have the Holy Spirit in me.

There's a quick summary of what's been on my mind. That, and the bittersweet fact that I leave for school in less than a month. Bitter because I'm going to be moving 7 hours away from some really close friends, my family, free time, and the ocean... yet sweet because I'm moving into a HOUSE with friends I love, and launching into a fresh semester of knowledge that's just waiting to be learnt. Why can't Whitworth be in Anacortes? :)

how time flies

So much has gone on in the last several days that it's been impossible to keep up with! It seems like I've had hardly any time at home to sit and breathe, let alone write here.

Let's see... I'll start with July. The new ferry schedule started on the 1st, which means that I have a new weekday curfew of 10pm instead of 6pm (praise the Lord!!). That didn't stop me from staying off-island for several nights last week, though. On the 4th Nate and I drove down to Seattle to pick up Greg & Beth at the airport. Nate had this great idea to dress up all fancy and be waiting for them at baggage claim with a sign that said "BATTEN." They loved it, it was tons of fun. Greg had a cold and had taken meds on the flight, so he was out of it the whole ride home - it was kind of funny, but we felt bad for him at the same time. We're glad he's back to his normal alert self.

Later on the 4th Nate came over to the Powell house and we experimented on the beach with various forms of combustible materials, then we went back to the mainland on the 10 to watch the Anacortes fireworks display. We went right down by the warehouses, and it was so cool. The reports were echoing off the metal siding, and the fireworks were huge and loud (I've never watched them from that close before!). One of the buildings caught on fire (I think it was one of the Sun Systems buildings?), which was alarming/exciting. Funny how a burning building can draw much more attention than the fireworks that are carrying on up above.

It was too cold to swim home, so I stayed in the Stalsbrotens' basement. I "helped Nate pressure-wash the deck" on the 5th (apparently the pressure-washer works better if it's occasionally cleaned out IN MY FACE), and ended up staying over there for dinner. Greg & Beth rejoined us, fully awake this time. It was awesome.

Thursday I went out to Bellingham to visit Rose W. after work. It was great to see her and catch up - we went to downtown Bellingham, made dinner, played a fun game called Guillotine, and watched a Firefly episode (Katie, Jessie, Stacy - you'll appreciate that!) I left with plenty of time to catch the 10 back, and even though I got a little lost on the way to the freeway I got to the on-ramp in time. Too bad I got onto I-5 North instead of I-5 South. By the time I realized my mistake and turned around, I was at the Fairhaven exits with only about a half-hour until the ferry. Since there was no way I was going to make it in time, I just stayed with Grandma at the lake. Sometimes I'm amused by the dumb things I do: this was one of those times.

The last few days have consisted of work, both at RMAS and at home. Erickson and I have made a pretty big dent in the berry bushes around the septic tank in our backyard, and we have another huge batch of bushes to take down next week. It's hard work but it's fun and rewarding... it's such an accomplishment to sever a huge blackberry bush from its roots, heave it over your shoulder, and yank the whole thing out of the way. Erickson went kind of crazy with the machete too, hacking his way through some of the drier stuff. I know it's boring to read about, you'll just have to trust me: it was fun when we were out there doing it. :)

Hmmm, let's see... Friday night we watched Improv with Greg & Beth, Stalsbrotens, my family, the Morrows, and about a million other people I know. It was hilarious, as usual. On Saturday my family, Greg & Beth, and the Andrew S's (Snook and Stalsbroten) all watched Pirates of the Caribbean II. The AC was broken, so the theater was distractingly hot and muggy (appropriate, isn't it?). I have to admit, I didn't think this one was near as good as the first one. Davy Jones and his crew were just a bit too much for me, and I felt like the plot-to-action ratio was slightly (or maybe excessively) overbalanced. It didn't help that, after nearly three hours, there was no ending. But I'm being too hard on it. I think that once I see the third one, I'll be less harsh on the second. I hope.

Sunday was Church, a brief stint at work, some chill time with Greg & Beth, and Youth Group (a bonfire out at Washington Park, complete with s'mores). Today was Mom's birthday, so I got up and made her blueberry pancakes for breakfast. This evening we went to the Lake and had a birthday dinner at Grandma's house.

Now I'm going to pack, because tomorrow we leave on the youth group Friction trip. For those who have no idea what that is (which I'm guessing is nearly all of you), it's a small-group rock climbing trip, put on by YD Adventures. I've actually never been rock climbing before, so I'm really excited. PLUS, on the last day we get to go rafting, which is hands-down one of my favorite things to do. I'm also really excited about the opportunity to spend some solid time with Beth and the girls (Micah, Erika, and Dawn). I'm praying that through this trip God will draw all of us closer to each other and, most importantly, closer to Him. The guys (Greg, Nate, Erickson, and Sergio) are going, too, but we'll break off into separate groups once we get up there. If you're reading this while I'm gone, send up a prayer for the safety of everyone involved and for our hearts to be open to what God has to tell us. We get back Friday night - I'll post an update next weekend.

Alright, after that excessively long and unnecessarily detailed account of my last week or so, I bid thee goodnight.

the truth about forever

I just finished an amazing book by Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever. It's funny: when we first got it in at the store, I immediately dismissed it. It gave me a foreboding, pit-of-your-stomach feeling, because from the cover and the title I could tell that it dealt with a subject that, at the time, I was putting a heck of a lot of subconscious energy into avoiding. In a word: romantic relationships. More specifically: the permanence (or lack thereof) of romantic relationships. Every time I saw the cover I felt drawn to it, and at the same time, incredibly repulsed by the shallowness and teeniebopperishness of it all. I think there was also some terror involved - terror that if I read it, I might have to come to terms with a truth that I’d been repressing and denying for some time, but that I knew was true in that deep place that’s beyond smiles and reasonable explanations. Most people call it your gut.

Now, one-and-a-half years later, I am surprised by how right I was. Not about the subject matter of the book – I was actually way off in my suppositions about that – but about how completely and congruently it applied to my life. It actually wasn’t about boys or romance: it was about truth. Transparency. Being true to the person God made you to be. Being upfront with people about what is going on in your life. Not hiding behind the “fine” mask (as in, “how are you?” “fine.”). Taking the risk of letting someone see who you really are, and banking everything on the chance that they will accept you anyway.

I had one such revelatory moment during Sunday School a week back. We were talking about consciences and knowing how God directs us, and all of a sudden I knew that I had a story to tell. Oh no, you don’t, that voice said. You tell that story and you’re done for. Who on earth will take you seriously after that?. But I took a deep breath, and I told a story about a pen. To Greg and a bunch of high schoolers. Partway through Greg started laughing; I shot him a look, and he responded with, “No, no… I’m laughing because I know exactly what you mean.” Then he proceeded to tell a story about a rock. And as I sat there listening, it slowly sunk in: I wasn’t crazy. I hadn’t been judged or made fun of. I had been accepted, affirmed. And this was only one tiny piece of my shell that I had offered up for examination.

Thanks to a handful of friends, I have made great strides in the last year. I’ve gotten less and less afraid of being myself when I’m with other people. But I’m fast approaching a cliff, and strides just won’t cut it anymore. I’m going to have to jump: to leave the safe, familiar ground, and (very literally) pray to God that He will protect me, give me courage, and guide me. I’m not big on hyperbole, and I know this all sounds rather dramatic, but trust me: when your mouth has been shut and your heart has been closed, it feels like a great leap to open it even a crack.

Which is why I "clicked" so well with this book: that's exactly the sort of fear that Macy (the main character) had to overcome. She had to realize how important it is to be the person that you were created to be instead of hiding behind a mask for fear of rejection. And with the help of some very colorful, likeable characters and some rather humorous situations, she succeeded. Definitely one worth reading.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 instructs us to keep the words of the Lord near to our hearts. Suggested methods? Tying them to our wrists, binding them to our foreheads, and writing them on our doorframes and frenceposts. Unfortunately, I don't have any fenceposts in my room so instead I forked over $1.99 for a food dish for my cat (after what... 6 or so years?) and decided to make it un-boring. This is the result:


I put John 6:35 "I am the bread of life..." along the food part, and wrote John 7:37-8 "If anyone thirsts, let him come to me..." in the water part (because you can see through the water!). I have my doubts about Trinity's capacity to understand what she'll be staring at every time she eats or drinks, but I think it's cool. One of those spur-of-the-moment things. Oh, and in case you didn't know, this is my cat. She's named Trinity.

Divine providence and a rusted-through muffler

Whoever thought that God would save me (and my grandma) from possible pain and/or death by breaking my car?

Here's the story: it's yesterday afternoon.  My engine sounds unusually loud, then later as I am heading to the ferry I hear a CRACK, sccccccrrrrraaaaappppppeeeeeeee.... My muffler has bit the dust.  It has completely detached from the exhaust pipe and is dragging on the ground.  I'm mildly annoyed, because I have to drive to Seattle Thursday afternoon to visit Ilsa and take Grandma to my cousin's graduation.  (I can't exactly make that trip with a muffler hanging off the back of my car.)

Rewind a few months: my rear wheels have started making a clunking sound when I drive, as if they are oblong or square instead of round.  I take the car in to Les Schwab but they say that the tire is separated a bit, and although it's annoying it's not dangerous at all.  I decide not to get it fixed because I'm low on funds.

Fast-forward to today.  I take my car in to get the muffler fixed, and ask them to look at the tires and let me know what exactly the problem is and how much it will be to fix it.  Later, the guy calls me back and says "We put on a new muffler, no problem... but here's the deal with the wheels.  The back right tire is separated, which in essence makes it more square than round.  As a result, in some places the tire has worn so much that the tread is completely gone.  I don't like to scare customers, but you should get that fixed as soon as you can... it could blow out at any time."  Good to know.  We ended up taking the car back to Les Schwab and getting a new (used) tire for 30-some-odd dollars, because the old ones were "partially under warranty" (whatever that means).

Now, nobody can know if my tire really would have blown out on the way to Seattle.  But I do know that I wouldn't have had it looked at for another month, probably, had my muffler not fallen off; and this world is too full of God for me to believe in coincidences.  He truly does provide for us.

twilight

I went on a run tonight at twilight, about 8:30 or 9-ish. It was good to get out in the cool air with a beautiful pink sunset behind me and have time to run, walk, and think. I've come to realize that when I'm at home in the house I can never just think - there's too many things to work on or get distracted by. Therefore, I run/walk.

Tonight, amongst other things, I got to thinking about "divine hiddenness," as we called it in my Philosophy of Religion class. Somteimes, when God seems to be playing hide-and-seek, I won't find him either because I'm focusing so much on obscure details that I miss the obvious or because I have become so wrapped up in my own life that I have failed to put effort into looking at all.

I also saw several deer, which sort of illustrated my thoughts perfectly. (Ever since high school, deer have been remiders to me of God's presence in my life... long story, no need to tell it here.) As I was passing by one field on my way home, I glanced out and could just barely make out the forms of a doe and her fawn. I stopped and watched for a second, before they bounded off into the trees. And here's how it connects: it was almost dark, and it would have been so easy to just pass by and not even look. But as soon as I looked, there they were. Just waiting to be watched and admired.

Alright, enough of Courtney's Deep Thoughts for now. It's 12:06 and I have a 6:30am date with my shower before a full day of work - and I want to wake up singing, not snoring.

It's amazing what you can find when sorting through old papers. For example, one might come across a folded up sheet of notebook paper with the following written on it:

• A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, just don't start anything."
• A man walked into a butcher's shop and said, "I'll bet you $50 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf." The butcher replied, "No, I can't take that bet... the steaks are too high."
• Did you hear the one about the dyslexic man who walked into a bra?
• Two antennas got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was exceptional.
• A hydrogen atom turned to his friend and said, "I've lost an electron." "Are you sure?" his friend asked. The hydrogen atom replied, "Yes - I'm positive."

Now, I could have kept these to myself... but I decided to be generous. Now you, too, can amaze your friends with your wit and humor.

"Keep Smiling!"

A man came into the store today looking for a bottle brush for cleaning his hummingbird feeder. We didn't have any: I told him so, and wished him luck in finding one. As he walked out the door, he said, "Keep smiling!" It was an unusual thing to say, but I found it appropriate for the drizzly day.

And smiling I am. I was at work for 11 hours today, but I got a lot done and now I'm feeling ready to make a dent in the catastrophe that is my room.

Yesterday I went for a hike up to the top of Guemes Mountain. In all my 13 years of living on this island, I've never made that trek... crazy, I know. There are some old logging roads that lead right up there. It was a bit stormy, but it felt great to sit up there and think and pray with the wind in my face.

Alright- time to crank up The Afters, roll up my sleeves, and get down to business! I will restore order to this room...

"Which would you like?"

Funny how such a simple phrase can warm your heart and make an already bright day just a little bit brighter.

Two brothers came into the store today. They must have been around 8 or 9. They were getting something that came in different colors, and I asked them what color they wanted. One of the boys turned to the other and said with the utmost sincerity, "Which would you like?" For some reason, that just blew me away. Maybe it was the way he said it. Most kids would pick what color they wanted... but this kid wanted to let his brother choose. It made me smile.

The weekend was awesome: I got to dogsit for a really cute 8-month-old golden lab and hang out profusely with two of my favorite families: the Stalsbrotens and the Battens. Activities included movies, midnight tackle basketball, hikes, sunsets, frisbee, delicious meals, and plain old hanging out. What more could you ask for?

I also decided on a "theme song," if you will, for the summer: Ordinary by Late Tuesday. You can actually download it from their website's store for free (www.latetuesday.com). It's one of those swell-up-inside-of-you, dance-when-nobody's-watching songs that's really fun to sing along to (or at least it has been lately). Especially the second verse/chorus. Disagree if you want to, but I know when I'm right :) When you're walking along smelling the ocean on a sunny day, it's darn near impossible to ignore that voice that's telling you life isn't ordinary.
Ecclesiastes 2:24-25

Good Old Raisins and Peanuts

GORP: the constant friend and companion of hikers, rafters, campers, and adventurers worldwide.  The energy-packed snack that satisfies cravings for both the sweet and the salty.  The acronym that I have been trying for the last 3 weeks to remember the meaning of.  I know that, for all practical purposes, it means "trail mix," but I haven't been able to remember what each letter literally stands for... until now.  I was browsing through a kid's camping cookbook at work and there it was.  Phew.  That's a weight lifted from my shoulders.

 

In other news, I've been off-island the last couple days babysitting my boss's daughter.  We had some delicious meals, watched the dog try to dig a laser beam out of the carpet, and baked cookies.  She even introduced me to Hannah Montana and her friends (they reside on the Disney Channel, which I don't get at my house).  All it all, it was quite fun.

Work has been fun, too.  Jeez, it seems like I haven't wrapped a present in 5 months!  I'm still catching up on what inventory we have now and where everything has been moved to, but I'll be solid in about a week :)

Alright, back to the ongoing project that I like to call "The Attic."  Hopefully my pillows and quilts will arrive via UPS soon so I can really make my bed!

green beginnings

Since I am basically starting this blog anew, and since I have recently been obsessed with the color green, I figured I'd change the template accordingly.

My last final was due Friday morning. I left Spokane at 2:00am Monday morning and made the 8:20 ferry home. It was quite a drive, and amazingly I didn't ever feel tired. I'm sure it's due in part to my 2-hour power nap combined with a venti iced vanilla latte... but at any rate, I made it back safe and sound.

Having just finished a very heavy semester at school, I'm home and spending some time renovating my room. In this case, 'renovationg' involves getting rid of a heck of a lot of junk that's been sitting around taking up space since I was a wee lassie, and shuffling around some furniture. The goal was to have everything sorted through and taken to goodwill or the dump by the end of this week... ha. Try two weeks from now. We'll see.

Pleasure reading for the next week or so: "The Next Christendom" by Philip Jenkins. It's about how the majority of Christians are no longer in the "West" but in the "South" (namely Central and South America, Africa, and Asia). It was one of the books we bought for my History of Christianity class but didn't end up having time to cover in class, so I'm reading it now.

On a more (or less) exciting note: Today I brewed up a batch of homemade giner ale. It's way better than the store-bought stuff.